2 Samuel 1:12

I am so far behind in my current bible study that is not even funny. I have been so overwhelmed with sick kids, work, and just life in general that I have pushed my time with the Lord aside...shame on me!!! I need my Savior everyday! Without Him, I am a mess. I feel unworthy. I feel...incomplete!!

So, in my trying to catch up God has revealed to me something that I so needed to hear right now!! The bible study is called "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed" by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur. It is a study of David, a man after God's own heart!!! Can I say...Amazing!!!!! Totally amazing! (there went my 80's talk that seems to want to come out more and more)

2 Samuel 1:12 "They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the army of the Lord and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword."

Why does this strike me? What could this scripture possible have to do with anything in my life?? Well, I too mourn. I mourn over the losses that I have experience. My sweet baby girl. My amazing father. My wonderful mother. My precious grandmother. All of these losses have occurred in the last 5 years. My heart breaks just as David's did. He mourned. He wept. He felt the loss just as I did. But what really got me was the study note. I love study notes. They really help me to look more into the scripture than just what I see.

"David and his men were visibly shaken over Saul's death. Their actions showed their genuine sorrow over the loss of their king, their friend Jonathan, and the other soldiers of Israel who died that day. They were not ashamed to grieve. Today, some people consider expressing emotions to be a sign of weakness. Those who wish to appear strong try to hide their feelings. But expressing our grief can help us deal with our intense sorrow when a loved one dies."

Even though the deaths that I mourn over happened from 5 years ago to almost 2 years ago, my heart still aches. My sorrow is still intense. I want to be strong, but why? Sometimes you just have to show your grief. Sometimes, you just have to cry. Sometimes you just have to crawl into the Lords lap and allow him to comfort you, to wipe your tears, and soothe your heart.

So, today I am crawling into my Lords lap and asking Him to help me. I am allowing Him to be my Comforter. My Shield. My Healer. I miss my mother so much! I miss my father! I miss my grandmother! I miss my angel baby girl! Oh how I need His arms wrapped around me this week. Please Lord! I need you!!

This is a sweet picture of my mommy holding my girl! This was at Autumn's 5th birthday party! What a wonderful fun day it was! Just reminiscing about my mom :/

All Stars

My All Star Boy!!

This was Rudy's first year to play All Stars! We had a blast! The coaches were
amazing with the boys and the families were all so
sweet and wonderful!! Expensive...oh yes...worth every penny???
You tell me...does that smile say it was worth it!?!
I would have to say...ummm...YES!

I have to brag a little...
My son really has a natural talent for baseball.
And the fact that he loves it makes it all that much better!
He really shines out on the field. He is loved by all his team mates and
really tries hard to encourage them and up lift them. A real team player :)

I am really proud of my son!! Even though we lost the first 2 games
and are now out of the tournament...

He will forever be My Little All Star
and
Number 1 in my book!!!

*Update on Operation Attitude Change*

Well, we had to move the cleaning outside! The attitude is just getting worse. Not that the inside of my house is clean, just thought they would get a little more out of some sweat and harder manual labor. We have a large front yard. We have a total of 1.5 acres of land and most of it is the front yard. So we thought push mowing would help do the trick. They took turns mowing. Around and around they went.

We have riding lawn mowers that we share with Trey's parents who live next door...and total we have 6 acres that we take care of. So they pushed and pushed. Really didn't take them long to mow the area that Daddy chose for them. And guess what??? They enjoyed it!!! Are you kidding me??? Even the friend that was over at the time wanted to help. What is wrong with them??? I guess I thought it was fun when I was little too, but, man that didn't work.

So, we moved inside again. This time to the bathroom.


Scrubbing the toilets!! Yucky!! Seems to be working. The attitudes are changing...we seem to be getting along better....we seem to be kinder....

UNTIL.....

Mommy got tired. Mommy got really tired. I slacked off. I started threatening to wash instead of making them wash. My fault completely! I have learned that I can not be distracted when it comes to the discipline of my children. I must stay on course. I must fight the fight. I must finish the race. No matter how tired I become. I can't get distracted by other things. Like...VBS...I was so stinking tired this past week with VBS and the late nights, that I didn't keep the course. I failed. BUT, I am back. Mommy is losing her mind again. Mommy wants to know what happened to my children...were they abducted by aliens and replaced by mean, rude little turkeys??? So, today, we are scrubbing again. Scrubbing the kitchen floor and the front door and entry way. Maybe we will be able to get back to where we were. Still praying for God to use me as His tool.

Oh, and lots of new ideas from some amazing friends. We are going to start them this week as well and I will try to post soon how they are working out. I am ready for a CHANGE!!! :)

Mommy's Going Crazy!!

Ok, ladies...it is only the second week of summer vacation and I am already going crazy!!! What is it about my kids?? They argue all the time. They don't mind, obey, listen or anything!!! I am just about to...be put away in the loony bin!!!!! Oh, and the attitude...oh my goodness! I can't stand all the attitude towards me or towards each other. Can you believe they even had the nerve to act up in Sunday School last week!?!? OH NO!! And was it this attitude of I want more, or what you offer is not enough for me...is what I have to give to them ever going to be enough?? Like for instance..."Mommy, can I have a piece of candy?"...."Yes, you may have one piece of candy."..."can I have 2?"....really? One is not good enough??? You want more? It is that way with everything!! We are not made of money. As a matter of fact we barely have enough right now to pay the bills and eat but they are still playing baseball and taking piano. We make it work because they enjoy those things. And heaven forbid if you tell them that they are going to miss a practice or a game...they act as if they are so miss treated. Urg!!!! I have had enough!!! I can't take it anymore! So, I have decided to deem this summer..............

Operation Attitude Change

If something does not change, I will totally lose it!! So, I was talking to Autumn's sweet piano teacher about how much they fight and she shared with me what her mom would do to them. If they fought they had to clean all the baseboards in the house! All of them! She said they had the cleanest baseboards in the whole town!! So, I was inspired!! Could that really help? Would that make a difference in their life...well, it is worth a shot right!! We have chore charts. They don't always work. But see I don't reward for the chore charts, maybe that is part of the problem with them. I feel that if I am expected to cook, clean, wash clothes, make lunches, and drive them around doing extra stuff...then they should be expected to help as well. I don't get paid for what I do, right? Anyway...we started on Monday. The attitude began and so did the cleaning!! They finished their chores and then more attitude from the seven year old. He seems to think he does not have to answer his sister when she is talking to her. Just ignore her. ALL THE TIME! So he had to scrub the kitchen floor on his hands and knees with a couple of wash rags. Yep, that's right! About 1/4 the way through he wanted a break...ummmmm...no way!! He worked and scrubbed until the floor was clean!!!! My kitchen floor is now sparkling!!

Tuesday...more daily chores...and then more attitude. This time from the nine year old. For some reason she just thinks she can be rude to her brother all the time!! Arguing over the Wii, just plain old attitude!!! She ended up having to clean the inside of the refrigerator! Yep that's right! My shelves inside my refrigerator are sparkling!!


!
She did a really good job! Then I got a really nice letter from her saying how sorry she was and she would try really hard to have JOY ( Jesus, Others, Yourself)!! Wonderful! Very sweet! They are now grounded from video games, or tv for 2 days for fighting over the Wii. *sigh*

Wednesday...today....here we go again. I had to go up to the church for an evaluation and they started out really good! No fighting, no rudeness! But, it did not last long! Today is the day to test if I have to obey all the time or just some of the time. You would have thought they had been raised in a barn!!!! Craziness consumed my nine year old! I had asked her 3 times to settle down but no! And then when we got home she was so tired that the rudeness to her brother showed up. She didn't listen to him at all. He asked her 2 times to stop and she just kept on!!! I was sitting right there too!!! REALLY!!! Come on!!! So you know that wall behind the trash can that get absolutely yucky with food splatters...well it is clean now, along with the outside of both refrigerators! My house will be really clean by the end of the month :)


I can't tell you how it is going to work out. I just asked them if they could tell me why they had to clean and neither one of them could tell me. *SIGH* Dang! I will continue. I will continue to talk to them, encourage them, share scriptures with them and anything else I can come up with. I am at my wits end! Spankings don't work well...they do but just for the day. Washing the mouth out with soap works for the day as well...BUT I need something long term. Something that will last. Something that may change how they view themselves and how they treat others. I am possibly going to plan a service they can do. Volunteering may help change their heart. I know that God is in control. I know the He is the only one who can truly change a heart but I am praying that He will use me as the tool to do so!!!




The last picture is of them writing sorry notes to their Sunday School teachers for the behavior that they had at church. We will be writing these notes as long as it takes. I need them to take "ownership" of the behavior that they choose to have.



Praying that this helps us out. Praying that God moves my children in a might way!! Will you pray with me? Will you ask God to move my children in a might way?? My hearts desire is that they will seek Him in all they do! Including how they treat others. I want so desperately for them to set the example for others to follow instead of always being the one following!!!!!



Hope your summer is starting off better than mine! Happy Sunshine Days :)

Memorial Day

I want to share with you all the scrapbook that I made for my father...it is not just an ordinary scrapbook...it is one to honor his days serving this country :) It was given to my father on his birthday. The birthday before we found out that he had cancer. The first picture is at his party! It is the last picture that shows my dad truly happy!! He is wearing a Airforce hat and bomber jacket that we gave him as well....which is now hanging in my closet.

(I am sorry if it looks grainy or not quite right...it is a picture of a picture.)

My father was really proud of this country and serving it was an honor!! I remember lots of stories that he shared...if only I had written them down!! The next several pictures are of the book. I hope you can see them okay, I had to turn the flash off because of the glare off the plastic covering.

Ok...I loved making this book for my dad and now my children can enjoy it as well :)

Thanks Daddy for serving your country and willing to die for it! We all thank you for your service ♥

Piano Recital

My oldest had her first Piano Recital on Monday! She was so nervous. I am so proud of her...she did a great job! Her teacher tells me all the time how impressed she is with Autumn's ability. Autumn has been taking piano lessons since February!! That is 3 months of lessons and then a recital, really? She is really fast learner and loves the piano so much...actually she loves music!!! It moves her in crazy ways :) Her teacher told me at the recital that Autumn can teach me the things she is learning, and I laughed. She has already tried to teach me somethings and gets upset with me when I hold my notes to long!!! Her teacher, Ms. E, told me that didn't surprise her one bit...Autumn will almost argue with her about whether or not she play an A or a B note...surprising??? No way!!! That's my girl :) Anyway, I just wanted to show you some pictures of that day. My beautiful little girl is growing up!!

Remember!

I love changing my blog to go along with the Holidays that we will be celebrating that month. But as May comes close, I was trying to decide if I wanted to celebrate Mother's Day or Memorial Day. This Mother's Day will not be easy for me, 2nd year without my mom here, so I decided to focus on Memorial Day. Let us not forget how we got our Freedom!! The men and women who give their lives for our freedom everyday, need to be remembered and thanked for their love of our country. My father served in the United States Air Force. He flew in WWII and the Korean War (Conflict)!! I am thankful that he chose to fight for freedom. I have several family members that have served in the military. Where would we be if they did not love this country so much?? I shudder at the thought!!

I am proud to be an American, I hope you are too!!

(I have to warn you about one of the songs playing...Toby Keith as a few choice words in the song "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue"...I love this song. You can skip it or just turn it off) :)