The House is Almost Empty :o(

Well...today after work I went by my moms house just to look around.

Its almost empty.

I feel sick.

I want to scream.

It still smells like her.

My heart is pounding.

I MISS HER!!

Things are in boxes on the floor, wrapped up ready to go.
Everyone has been in and out taking things they wanted. Just a few items remain. Part of me wishes I could have taken it all. I really wanted to just bubble wrap the whole house and move it out here...we have the room...then I could just go over there when I wanted. Not realistic??? I know. Stinks!! I want to call her....I want to hear her voice...I want to feel her hugging me!! Is she really gone? Isn't this just a dream? A nightmare right? I always thought that I would be devasted when my father died...you know, I am such a daddy's girl. But I guess since I watched my father waste away to practically nothing, and suffer such pain that it was a blessing to know that he was in Heaven walking again. But my mom?? No time to prepare...no time to say good-bye. No time to say how much she meant to me...no time to tell her what an inspiration she was to me. NO TIME!! I know that she knew that I love her, I told her that just about everyday. I look back and wish that I had went to see her the Saturday before she died. I wish I had taken the time to drive over there and visit with her....I know she wanted me too, I could hear it in her voice...but I didn't. Oh stupid me!! I am reminded of the song by Garth Brooks...If tomorrow never comes...

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
She must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

Tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

There I go again thinking of songs...musical person remember?? So take heed...read these words...let them speak to you!! Don't let today go by without telling your loved ones how you feel. Don't live with the regret of not saying how much they mean to you. Trust me...I would have never thought that tomorrow would never come.

The house is almost empty and I want to scream.