Where have I been???

I am not doing so good at this blogging thing lately. I have so many ideas and yet don't seem able to post them.

Easter was hard.

Was it really Easter??

Already??

Guess so, I feel as though I missed it. We had an egg hunt on Saturday, but Rudy ended up sick that night so I was unable to go to church and celebrate the best day in history. Then there was the fact that we were missing 2 important people. I tried to get some of my family together but they had other ideas and were not feeling up to celebrating either. I really don't feel as though I enjoyed the day that my Savior rose from the dead. Even my children had a hard time. Tears were shed, hugs were given, and we all tried to love each other.

Baseball and Softball season have begun.... I am hoping that it will be a little bit of a distraction for me. If I can remember where we are suppose to be...at what time!! I feel like my mind is shot. I can't remember anything.

Well, Just want to say that I am here, I am living, I am healing (I think), and I will be back.

Yesterday

My Hannah, oh so sweet Hannah!! I love these pictures we took of her yesterday. She is such a joy and a blessing in our lives. I can't believe it has been 7 months now that she has been with us. I look back a the pictures of her first days and can't believe how much she has grown and how much she has changed!!

She was so cute, rolling all over the living room floor. She rolled and rolled until she was under the chair. It didn't really phase her thought. I think she actually thought it was funny. Especially when she started getting all the attention that came along with it :) Then brother came into the room to see what was going on. Well,what a perfect opportunity to see what brother tastes like...actually that is how she kisses you. Mouth open wide...and all she slobber that she add to it!!! I love these pictures so much. You can tell that my children absolutely adore her. Rudy had her laughing so hard today that she ended up with the hic-ups...priceless!!

Then of course he wanted to show his love for her. It is a mushy mess over here all day long!! All the kissing and hugging going might make the weak feel sick. But that is us...just a mushy messy family :)









It really was a wonderful day. Just relaxing. Enjoying my kids. I was not sure what Spring Break would bring. All 3 kids here with me all day for 7 days...I have to admit I was a little scared. But...my kids are awesome. We have done bead art, puzzles, played on the computer, worked in the garden, had some friends over to play, and tomorrow we are going to Katy Mills Mall with some friends. Really it has been a great week!! (I am still looking forward to school starting up again...they are getting bored really fast...harder to entertain :)



And look what she has learned to do!!! Go Hannah!!
She is not to steady, but she thinks she is really a big girl and loves to sit and play.


(Look at her knees...so chubby...she has a roll on her knees...my mom would have love that....looks like a little padding for when she starts crawling....so yummy!!)

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

Today would have been my dad's 86th birthday!! He was an amazing man that I miss very much. The picture here is at his 83rd birthday. That was the year that I made him a scrapbook in memory of the years that he served in the Air Force. We aslo found a United States Air Force bomber jacket and hat. He was so thrilled and loved his book. The book is now here at my house for my kids to look at and the jacket and hat are hanging in my closet. I love this picture...it was one of the last times that I saw my dad truly happy. Oh man, I miss him!!! I love you daddy!!!

One More Round

This "video" really isn't a video...it is the CD cover with the song playing. I wanted to post the words, but the song is so much better when you hear. I so feel like this. I feel as though I am in a ring fighting and fighting. I keep getting knocked down and I keep getting back up just to be knocked down again. Frustrating!!! BUT, I will not let Satan knock me down for the count. I will continue to get up and fight.

"I may be bloodied and bruised, but I am here to tell you, that I may be knocked down but not for the count... So take me one more round, I'll just keep fighting, one more round, you messing me up but I'm still here... one more round...I'll come out swinging...one more round...I'm telling you I'm not gonna lose it, I am not defeated"

This whole CD really talks to me...song after song...me...me...me!! I strongly recommend this CD to everyone.

Tomorrow

March 2ND, just any other day to most. Nothing special, just another busy day in their life. Go to church, lunch, back home, rest, and get ready for another day. But for some it is a day of remembrance. A day that is not celebrated. A day that is not exactly joyful. For me March 2ND is a day almost to sad to remember. For me, it was the one and only time that I was able to hold my baby girl. The only time that I was able to count her fingers. The only time I was able to kiss her little feet. The only time that I was able to stroke her little cheek. For me, March 2ND is not her birthday...but what I have decided to call "Evey's special day". It is special for two reasons...it was the only day that Trey and I were able to hold her and it is the day that we say that she went to live with Jesus. So tomorrow, I will go and put spring Tulips on her grave. I will remember how tiny she was but how big her little life touch so many. I will remember how excited we all were about her joining our family. I will remember all the wonderful things that were done for us when we lost her. I will remember the last time I felt her kick me. I will remember the last time I heard her heart beat. I will remember how much I wanted her. I will remember how much I love her. I will remember the pain. I will remember the love that was shown to our family during our grief. I will remember. I will be thankful for the short time that I was able to have her inside of me. I will be thankful for the other 3 little lives that God has blessed me with. I will be thankful.

Little Angels

When God calls little children to

dwell with Him above,

We mortals sometimes question the

wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with the

death of one small child,

Who does so much to make our world

seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling the

aged to His fold,

So He picks a rose bud before

it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,

and so He takes but a few,

To make the land of heaven more

beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult

still somehow we must try.

The saddest word mankind knows

will always be "Goodbye".

So when a little child departs

we who are left behind

Must realize God loves children,

and angels are hard to find.